How to Discern & Courageously Take Your Next Best Step
The journey of life often requires us to make difficult decisions. To move forward with clarity, we must first discern what our next best step is. But how do we do this in a world that constantly pushes us toward distractions, comparisons, and external opinions?
True maturity comes from the ability to listen to our inner wisdom, trust ourselves, and take ownership of our next step. This article will guide you through how to discern your next step, how to differentiate your inner wisdom from fear and anxiety, and how to summon the courage to follow it.
The Power of Discernment: Recognizing Your Next Best Step
Each of us is in a different place in life, and our next steps are each quite unique. The most important guide for knowing what to do next is not external advice, but the inner wisdom and intuition we already carry. I’ll say it again another way:
The most important guide for knowing what to do next in your life IS YOU.
The most important guide for knowing what to do next in your life IS YOU.
Discerning your next step is not about having the whole plan laid out, but about having the awareness and clarity to recognize and trust your own intuition. This is a sign of both spiritual and emotional maturity.
There’s a growing cultural shift away from relying on outside authorities for answers and toward embracing our own inner authority. This awakening can be seen all over—encouraging each of us to tap into the wisdom we hold within ourselves.
Slowing Down: The Essential Practice for Listening to Your Inner Voice
One of the biggest challenges we have in awakening to our inner knowing is distraction. We are masters at staying distracted, even with self care, wellness, and spiritual activities. To discern our next best step, we must first slow down and create space to hear ourselves.
Slowing down invites discomfort and often brings up painful truths or unaddressed feelings. It’s in these quiet moments that our next best step becomes clear, but we must first be willing to face what may arise.
Practical Tools for Quieting the Noise:
Simply sitting in silence.
Mindfulness, Meditation or Prayer.
Journaling.
Going for a walk or run.
Breathwork.
Spending time in nature.
Thermal contrast therapy.
Establishing a routine.
Connecting with others.
If slowing down feels unfamiliar or difficult, that is normal, start with just a few minutes a day. Set aside time for a simple activity that invites presence—whether it’s sipping tea mindfully, taking a slow walk in nature, or practicing deep breathing. Experiment with activities that help you connect with the present moment without expectation. Over time, these small steps create a foundation for stillness, allowing you to tune into your deeper wisdom and discern your next steps with clarity.
Discernment Filters: How to Know If It's the Right Path
The next phase in discerning your path is learning to recognize when ego and anxiety arise. Be mindful of the "shoulds" — decisions driven by societal expectations, family pressure, or fear of judgment. Often, these are signs that the decision isn’t aligned with your true path. When you hear the word “should”, let it become a stop sign in your mind. This stop sign is an invitation to slow down, be curious, and ask yourself some questions:
Be mindful of the shoulds.
Is it Vision or is it Fear??
Is your decision shrinking you or is it expanding you? If you feel smaller when making the decision, you may be letting fear take control.
Is your decision based on avoiding discomfort, rejection, or failure? If so,it may be fear-driven.
Is your decision outside your value system or long-term goals? If so, it is likely not vision that is guiding you.
Do you feel guilt or shame? These emotions often accompany fear-based choices.
Is your decision driven by insecurity or the desire to impress others? If so, fear may be guiding you.
Are you getting stuck in indecision because you're afraid of making the "wrong" choice? If so, you may be overthinking and allowing fear to creep in.
Are You Comparing Yourself to Others?
Are you making decisions based on societal expectations, peer pressure, or fear of judgment? If so, remember that comparison is a trap. Your journey is unique and the next best step for you will rarely look like someone else’s.
Are you relying heavily on others' opinions or needing validation for your choice? If so, remember that you are the best guide in your life.
Is Your Body in Agreement?
Do you feel tense, anxious, or panicked in your body when you think about the decision? If so, take a moment to slow down. Your body often speaks before your mind. Ask yourself, what is your body trying to tell you?
Do you have a racing heart, shallow breathing, a knot in your stomach or a sense of urgency that feels overwhelming or ungrounded? If so, pay attention to physical sensations—tightness, unease, or excitement can indicate alignment or misalignment with your true path.
Finding the Courage to Step Forward
For some of us, finding the courage to step forward takes acknowledging the fear of failure. Fear of failure is normal. The truth is, we cannot control the outcome of our actions, but we can control the decision to take that next step.
So, let’s take a minute to really think about what failure is and isn’t. Failure is not about things going wrong; it’s about not trying at all. True growth comes when we step outside of our comfort zone and face challenges. Reframe failure as an opportunity for learning and personal transformation.
This type of reframe offers all of us an opportunity to embrace discomfort. Much like a cold plunge, stepping into discomfort eventually becomes a source of strength. The fear and tension doesn’t go away, but you become more comfortable with the discomfort and uncertainty. And when you become more comfortable with discomfort and uncertainty, you unlock the ability to grow beyond what you ever thought possible.
Practical Tools for Gaining Courage
Seek Inspiration from Those Who Have Gone Before You
Reflect on individuals who inspire you with their courage to take bold steps. This could be a mentor, a historical figure, or someone from your community who has faced challenges and overcome adversity. Use this as a reminder: you are not alone.
Shift Your Self-Talk
How you speak to yourself matters. Replace negative self-talk with empowering statements like: “I am capable,” “I trust my intuition,” and “I have everything I need to take this next step.” Words are powerful—be mindful of what you affirm in your mind and heart.
How you speak to yourself matters.
In Words Can Change Your Brain, Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Waldman talk about how the words we use not only change our brains but also our reality. They discuss how focusing on positive language can reshape our perceptions and alter the way we see ourselves and others. Over time, these changes can even affect the part of our brain that shifts how we experience and interpret reality.
Words are powerful, and you can use them to your advantage-speak kindly to yourself. Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself, and replace the narratives that don't serve you with ones that are true and supportive.
Release Expectations and Focus on the Next Step
You are responsible for taking the next step, but you are not responsible for the outcome. Release control over the result and focus on being faithful to what you can do now. This might feel scary. The ultimate act of courage is stepping forward without knowing the entire plan, trusting that each step will lead you to growth.
This is an opportunity to trust in the process, even when the entire path is unclear. You can take ownership of your life and make decisions based on what you know to be true for you at this moment. This wisdom, once embodied, transforms your life and ripples out into the world around you.
Trusting Yourself and Embracing the Journey
You Have Everything You Need.
You were uniquely created to live your life. Trust in your inner wisdom and trust that the next step, however uncomfortable, is part of your journey.
Your next step may be small, but it’s yours. Commit to slowing down, discerning your next move, and then stepping courageously into it. Your life, your path, and your unique journey await.
About the Coach: Jen Wood
Jen Wood is a dynamic leader and co-founder of Expansion Lab, an executive and transformational coaching firm. She has over 20 years of experience in spiritual leadership, entrepreneurship, education, and wellness practices.
Jen offers a holistic approach to personal and professional growth. She integrates physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being to create transformative change for individuals and teams. Living in Southern California with her family, Jen is dedicated to fostering growth and adventure while humbly sharing her insights on leadership, resilience, and self-awareness.
To learn more about coaching with Jen, visit our coaching page and book a free consultation.
